Today, Hilary Grossman tells us why she decided to write her book, Dangled Carat.
So many of us have been there. We find an amazing guy. He has everything we are looking for. He is smart, handsome, and successful. We go out with him a few times. Everything appears to be great. We start to fall for him and we are sure that he feels the same way about us. But then he pulls away. He tells us things are going to fast. He isn’t ready for a serious relationship. And he definitely doesn’t want a commitment.
We then have to decide what to do. Do we continue to see him? Do we let nature take it’s course? Or do we move on?
I knew that so many girls could relate to my story – my attempt to convert the ultimate commitment-phobic man into a doting husband with a lot of help from his family and friends. I desperately wanted to write it. But despite my desire, dreaming was all I was doing.
I always putting off writing it. Procrastinating was easy. After all, I had many excuses not to actually write the story. There was never time to write it. And I was afraid. What if no one wanted to read it?
In my heart I knew that one day I would share my story. I just didn’t know when or how. I started blogging about four years ago with this book in mind. I wanted to see if I had the wherewithal to write regularly and to determine if anyone would want to read my work.
Slowly but surely, I developed a loyal following on my blog, Feeling Beachie. My confidence grew. And after a BlogHer conference in New York I decided to take the plunge.
Writing my story seemed easy enough. After all, I have told it hundreds of times over the years. (Yes, I am the type of person that can tell you their entire life story in line at the grocery store). So from October to May, every weekend, all weekend long, I would sit at my laptop plugging away, pretending I was just having a conversation with a friend over wine.
When I finished the manuscript I knew it needed work. So I contacted Christina Baker Kline, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of Orphan Train to edit it. And when she did, page after page, she wrote the same word over…. WHY?
She knew the reader needed to understand what was going on in my mind in order to connect with me as well as Marc. The reader needed to understand my motivation for continuing to date someone that did the things that he did….
That is when the writing got hard. I really had to look deep inside, and understand and share the experiences and emotions that made me who I am and that made me act the way I did. It was like going through therapy. There were many times I couldn’t see my monitor through my tears as I relived events such as my father’s death when I was fourteen. When I wrote about the extensive teasing I experienced while wearing a Scoliosis back brace for four years, I realized I never told anyone about the torture I experienced, including my parents.
But I also relived many good times. Such as little moments in my relationship with Marc that in the scheme of life you wouldn’t think much of. But when truly analyzed contribute to the deep love felt.
In the end, Dangled Carat reads like a chick lit novel. But it is also a coming of age story that I feel most woman can relate to, especially if they do what I did. Think back to the major and minor events of their life and realize how these moments shaped them and guided them in their quest for love.